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Home > Breastfeeding > Nursing During Pregnancy & Tandem Nursing > Tandem Survey Tandem Nursing Survey:
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| 147 | I am glad to have tandem nursed, particularly that I didn't push my daughter to wean at 3 yo while I was pregnant. On the other hand, I found it to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. I found that as soon as the baby was born I did not want to nurse my older daughter any longer, but I understood that in many ways she still needed to nurse. It was very hard to reconcile those two things and I never managed to do so completely. In the end I did gently encourage my older daughter's weaning. |
| 146 | Tandem nursing is an amazing experience. It is important however to have supportive people to talk with about the emotions only a tandem nursing experience brings. |
| 145 | [Of 4 pairs of tandem nurslings] the first pair tandemed for 10 months. I weaned the elder when I got pregnant with #3. The second pair tandemed for 1 month; the elder weaned herself, deciding nursing was for babies, not toddlers. The third pair nursed for 26 months; I weaned the elder at age 4. The fourth pair just started as the baby is only a month old. I have been nursing for nearly 11 years straight, so far. I have gotten pregnant twice while tandem nursing. I have six living children and three who died before birth. My children range in age from 10 3/4 years to 1 month. |
| 144 | I wish tandem nursing were more accepted. In my situation, my daughter was 3 when her brother was born. She'd already nursed past the 1 year the AAP recommends and the 2 years the WHO recommends. Other women have their babies closer together. I want them to understand that they don't have to wean their older child due to a pregnancy and that they don't have to wean their older child when the newborn comes along. People can and do feed healthy newborns on exclusive breastfeeding while satifying the nursing demands of a toddler. |
| 143 | Just for sake of calculating since my information above doesn't state it well... my son nursed in my pregnacy, and self weaned at 2.5 yrs old after tandem nursing for 2 months after my twins were born. I am still tandem nursing my twins, whom are 13 months old as of Feb. 1, 05. If anyone has questions or wants to talk you can always email me at threeliltigs at webtv dot net. |
| 142 | I think TN moms may gloss over the hardships a bit because they feel ambivalent and guilty when nursing two has not been as easy/joyous as nursing one. |
| 141 | I experienced some negative emotions when trying to nurse both children at once, a feeling of anxiety and being overwhelmed and wanting to push one away. I learned from other tandem nursing moms that this is normal and many of them had felt it which was reasurring. I dealt with it by only nursing one at a time. |
| 139 | I have now nursed 3 kids for a total of nearly 6 years. My oldest child, my son, nursed for just over 2 1/2 years, my oldest daughter is nearly 3 1/2 and still nursing along with her 21 month old sister. My children are all very very healthy, fight colds easily, no known asthma/allergies, and are all pretty well adjusted individuals. My nursing them has been a blessing to all of us in our family. |
| 138 | It was difficult in the beginning. When my toddler would nurse, it really hurt in the first two weeks after my son was born, she was bigger and stronger and had a lot more suction. After that, it was much better. Over all, it has been a great way to be able to provide for both of my younger children. I also have a set of identical twin girls who are almost 5 years old. They have been great helpers with their sister and brother. I would definately recommend tandem nursing to anyone who feels it is just too early to wean the older child. You can't go back on that decision. I weaned the twins at 15 months, and wish I would have gone longer. |
| 136 | My son is now 3 and my daughter is 1. It is a long road, but one worth traveling. |
| 135 | I have 3 kiddos. My 1st and 2nd kiddos I tandem nursed. They are 16 months apart to the day. So my son was 2 yrs old and daughter was 8 months old when I weaned them. I choose to wean them at the same time because I didn't want anyone getting jealous about who was getting mama's milk and who wasn't. My family and in-laws thought I was crazy for nursing 2 kids at one time but I didn't care - I justa kept on nursing! It's my body, so there! lol! I wish everyone a happy and joyous tandem nursing!!! |
| 134 | My mother always had the attitude that nursing for a long
time (even 4-5 years) was just fine. I have her to thank for
my commitment to breastfeeding. She was never able to make it
past a year due to various reasons. But she now has 4 grandchildren
who all have/most likely will nurse significantly past that
first year. :) I am very grateful for the attitude she has always
had toward extended breastfeeding. She is a great support.
I do not know how much tandem nursing encouraged the closeness between my children. The children that did not tandem nurse also have a very special bond. |
| 130 | My second son weaned during my pregnancy with my daughter, at 40 months. |
| 129 | Since I am the only breasteeding mother in my circle of friends where I live and in my family, support from women on online boards and sites like this and from a couple of long-distance friends I have that are very involved in breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocacy has been invaluable to me! I don't think I would have really felt like tandeming was something I could do, it wouldn't have seemed as real as an option for me, if I hadn't read from the many moms who are doing/have done it. Just as in breastfeeding one child, I think determination and support from other women is the surest way to ensure a sucessful and satisfying experience. |
| 128 | My tandem nursing ended when I decided to nudge my older child toward weaning. After the first year of nursing him, I'd decided that he would wean on the earlier of his deciding to or my deciding that I just couldn't take it. The latter happened -- during his 4th year, I just started to find nursing him really teeth-gratingly unattractive. I started to talk up weaning, and we ultimately decided on his 5th birthday as Weaning Day. My younger child (32 months at her brother's weaning) continues to nurse at 36 months. It's been a wonderful ride. |
| 127 | Although it may be a hard adjustment in the beginning and it may take a little getting used to, overall it is really quite a beautiful experience and I think it helps to develop a lovely relationship between your children. |
| 125 | I just wanted to mention how cute it is when I nurse them at the same time & older brother holds baby's hand & waves hi to him! I think they are building an incredible bond right before my very eyes, and in my lap! |
| 122 | Even though I felt great about nursing, I never felt 100% comfortable nursing in public. However, I went ahead and did so. I felt that nursing both children and nursing for an extended period of time was the healthiest (physically and emotionally) for myself and my children. So I worked really hard at not letting other people and their values get to me. |
| 120 | One of the most helpful books that I have read is Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. It helped me realize that some of my negative feelings weren't strange, but normal. |
| 118 | Breastfeeding is the best thing for the health of our children and ourselves. Our children should receive most of their calories from breastmilk until they are at least one year old but I would really refrain from setting any hard rules. Every pregnancy and every child is going to be different, as is every mother and family. Do what is best overall for your family. Sometimes children need to be gently and lovingly weaned rather than waiting to do it on their own and sometimes we mothers need to sacrafice our own personal comfort to do what is best for our children. Don't let others impose their own breastfeeding beliefs on you whether they believe every child should be weaned by six months or every child should have access to the breast whenever they feel like it. You know yourself, your child, and your family best. Evaluate accurate health information and listen to your own instincts and beliefs. |
| 117 | Here is the surprise: my baby #4 was really #4 and 5! We found
out at about 22 weeks, after I had decided on tandem nursing.
My pregnancy with the twins was not complicated in any way and
I was able to have a normal, full-term pregnancy, so I decided
to continue to nurse my daughter as originally planned. By the
time the boys were born, she had tapered down to only a few
nursings a day and was quite satisfied to go without while I
was in the hospital. The twins were 6 lb. 8 oz. and 7 lb., so
they were a decent size, and my daughter happily resumed nursing
(after the babies, in most cases) when we came home. It really
wasn't long, however, that she began skipping nursing sessions
and soon just tapered off all together. We used to joke that
she quickly realized "the bar was full." I can't tell
you how helpful it was to be able to call her over to nurse
when the babies had finally both latched on and sucked just
enough to fill my breasts to bursting - and then both promptly
fell asleep! A nursing toddler is a lifesaver for the engorged
mother of twins. : ) My daughter ended up weaning herself (totally pain free for both of us) at about 24 months. |
| 116 | At the start of our tandem nursing experience, I allowed my
older daughter unlimited nursing. I felt it was important to
not leave her out, and this also helped establish my milk supply.
Possibly too well, as I've had a little bit of an oversupply
issue (which I also had with her, so this may not be the cause).
Regardless, it was a good thing I was still nursing her, as
she's been able to help with a more copious flow when I've had
it. After a few weeks, when I was growing tired of the whole tandem nursing thing, I started feeling some resentment to my older daughter for still asking to nurse so frequently. She was literally asking over 10 times a day, at three years old. I decided to cut her back to three times a day (not including before and after sleeping, which I would not count against the three). My reasoning was if she was only nursing three times, then I would have more patience, and would nurse her longer. We had a discussion, where we talked about the new rules. She understood, and so we started this new method. She'd ask to nurse, and I'd say that would be one of her times. She was okay with that, until early afternoon when she wanted to nurse, but she'd already used up her three times. There were several days of tantrums and then I realized that it wasn't the length of nursing that mattered to her so much as just not being told "no" when she asked. This changed my perspective entirely, and I started our current method, which has been going on now for the past three months. She asks, and I do whatever I can to say yes, but she has to pick a number between 1 and 10. She'll nurse to that number and then stop. It doesn't matter to her if I count super fast, or super slow, she's just as happy either way. She just doesn't want to hear "no". This has made us both so happy that I'm actually enjoying nursing her again. Sometimes I play with her during the counting "1,2,3,5,6,7" "Mommy, you forgot 4!" and I count again. I get it wrong a few times, while she nurses away, giggling the whole time. Suddenly, I think I might actually make it through. I love seeing her smile again, and having this special time back. For a couple of weeks, though, it was pretty hairy. I'm glad we made it through. And, the baby? Well, he's just as happy as can be. And, if he ever fusses, my daughter is always right there "Mommy, Duncan wants to nurse!" I have had to suppress a few impulsive moments, however, while nursing him. I'm so used to nursing a toddler, that I have to remind myself sometimes to let him finish. I've absent mindedly pulled him off a few times, and then gasped at myself. Fortunately, he's pretty good natured, so he doesn't complain. It's taken a little bit of time to get back in the swing of nursing an infant. He's growing so beautifully, and so well, it won't be long before he's a toddler. |
| 115 | Get the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing!!! ;) |
| 114 | I have been breastfeeding without much break since 1995 (this
is written in 2004). My oldest was born in 1993. I did wean
him when I became pregnant again. But nursed through 3 more
pregnancies (with some modification toward the end due to preterm
labor issues). The longest I nursed was my 3rd child who weaned
at 4 yrs 10 months. I currently breastfeed my 7 months old and
on occassion, my 3 yo. Breastfeeding helps to keep my cycle away, too, I have had 6 normal cycles since May 1992! Great natural brith control :) |
| 113 | I am feeling far better about nursing my now 3 year old now, than I was just 3 months ago. Also, when my infant got stronger, at about 3 1/2 months, I began to find ways that I could nurse them simutaneously, which is a great time saver, and I think better for sibling bonding. |
| 112 | I think more people than you think tandem nurse, especially when there's 2 yrs between them. However, I think few people talk about it. |
| 111 | I get a lot of negative comments about how LONG my son has been nursing (2 yrs) and it really helps to go to LLL and meet with other moms who practice extended breastfeeding or tandem nurse as well. |
| 109 | Personally, when my second daughter was born I assigned each girl their "own" breast. My first daughter nurses always on the right and the 2nd on the left. They still do that 22 mos later. However, when I had to go to a breastfeeding conference when my second daughter was 4.5 mos old and my first daughter stayed with my inlaws for a couple of nights, my second daughter did nurse off her sister's side. I did have them do that a couple of times to help me out and I did know (in my mind) that if during a growth spurt or something I really NEEDED to give my second daughter more, I would let her have at her sister's side. But that never happened. |
| 106 | My boy weaned when I was 3 months pregnant, not because he wanted but because my milk dried and no more came out so he became disinterested and stopped. When my baby girl was born he nursed a couple of times and stopped, now that she's 7 months he's really interested again and asks me for it -I just don't know if to let him, because he's almost five yrs old too big. I'll see... |
| 105 | Nursing through pregnancy, for me, was harder than tandem nursing, due to the loss of milk supply, persistent uncomfortable sensations, exhaustion, etc. Seeking support from LLL leaders and members who had tandem nursed, and reading Hilary Flower's Adventures in Tandem Nursing proved to be so important in getting me through the tough times. |
| 104 | I pump full time for my kids because my youngest is unable to nurse due to cleft palate. |
| 99 | I love to sit and feed my children - physically, emotionally and spiritually. They are with us for so little time, and I feel it is a blessing to be able to share this special bond with them. It is not always perfect, but it is a relationship like no other - a total commitment to giving to another little human being. |
| 97 | My twins were born 3 days after Christmas when my daughter was 22 months old. She nursed like a newborn for about 4 months, which was really challenging, but now it is once or twice a day. My boys are both nursing more still. |
| 92 | I am so glad that we did tandem nursing. It seems like such a natural choice when you have decided to do child led weaning. |
| 91 | I think that tandem nursing can just happen sometimes and it's not always planned. I didn't imagine that my daughter would nurse for over three years, and she did. If you believe that they need to lead the weaning process, even when a little help from mom sometimes, tandem nursing can creep up on you. And, it's actually not so bad. |
| 89 | I think it was almost silly of me to say that I decided to tandem nurse- I think rather that I did not attempt to forcibly wean. Now that I see how determined my older nursling was about breastfeeding, I realize that there was nothing I was going to do to dissuade him from continuing through my pregnancy. Tandem nursing is almost all up to the toddler! |
| 87 | Tandem nursing has increased my production enough that I'm looking at donating to a milk bank again. |
| 86 | When I became pregnant the first time, when my nursling was 20 months old, I had some people who were adament that I STOP nursing immediately. Thankfully, I also had some friends who advised me not to wean the first, just in case something happened to the baby, because if I did wean and something happened to the baby, I would always regret it. I did NOT wean my daughter, and when my baby died 3.5 months into my pregnancy, I was so incredibly thankful I did NOT wean. I can not describe the comfort both my then 2 year old daughter and I received from nursing after the death of my baby. I would urge any mother who thinks of weaning just because she is pregnant to think VERY CAREFULLY about her decision! |
| 84 | I think that tandem nursing is definitely not for everyone - it does have its advantages, but after a while they may be offset by negativity towards the older sibling. Ultimately, it should be the mother's true choice, not something that she does as a sacrifice for her children. |
| 78 | I think that seeking others who do what you are doing is very helpful. It is hard, none of my friends are going through what I am, even those tandem nursing, because they are not co-sleeping and allowing nursing on demand. I have begun to set boundaries, and it helps. The challenge is finding ways to do it that my 2 year-old can understand. Lately we've been singing the ABC song when he wants to nurse while the baby is, and he pops off when we are done with the song (about 20 seconds). Most of the time he wants right back on, but we just repeat the song and he comes off again. Usually he eventually loses interest. Just go with your instincts, and if you are getting resentful (like I found myself getting), find ways to change the situation so you get what you need as well. You can't give if its all being taken away from you! |
| 77 | My older children are very in-tune with the youngest siblings needs - my children have enjoyed extremely good health even after entering preschool and public school. |
| 75 | I tandem nursed my third baby (son) with the daughter of my ill sister-in-law. |
| 73 | I had a breast reduction surgery as a teen. That's why I never had success with breastfeeding before. My 5th child used a Lact-aid and needed supplements to grow; I've still never had a full supply of milk. |
| 72 | It was a great experience, and I would do it again in a second. |
| 71 | I'm thrilled to be tandem nursing my two boys. I couldn't have chosen a better thing for them. |
| 70 | I realize that my nursing relationship has gone on longer than most but I really don't care about all of that social pressure thing. I nurse my children because they want/need to nurse. I will stop nursing them when they are ready. I hope that any mom considering tandem nursing goes into it with no preconceived notions of how she will feel or for how long... Just take it day by day... |
| 68 | I am not tandem nursing currently. I will be soon. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with twin girls and my son is currently 27 months old and still nursing. |
| 65 | Just when I was beginning to think he'd never self-wean, I had to use Nystatin cream for thrush. My son asked me about the cream on my nursies and I told him that Mommy's nursies hurt and the medicine was going to make them feel better. He stopped nursing that day. He watched with interest everytime I put the cream on and asked me if the baby was hurting me by nursing. He'd give me kisses on my "boo-boo", etc. Very concerned about it all. Two months later, he saw me nursing his sister and asked if my nursies were all better. I said Yes. He said, "So I can nurse now?" I was ready for this question ahead of time, just in case. I laughed and said, "You don't nurse anymore, silly! That's for babies". He laughed and said, "Oh yeah!" He ran off to play and hasn't asked again. He does like to help me nurse his sister by holding my nursie for me. It's very sweet. ;) |
| 60 | Give it a go, it's one of those things you can change your mind on if it doesn't work out. |
| 58 | Wonderful, fulfilling experience for all of us (mom, dad, children). |
| 52 | Baby 1 got the short end of the stick. I didn't know for almost 3 months about Baby 2 - my milk supply was low and she went to solids quickly in order to survive. When I realized this I adjusted her accordingly but feel she may have been slighted. |
| 51 | It is the most wonderful experience, to see both of them at the breast. I also think that maybe it has helped decrease sibling rivalry. |
| 47 | My second actually weaned before the first - he weaned at 4 and she still nursed occasionally until she was 7 or 8. |
| 45 | I nursed two through a pregnancy and #1 weaned few months shy of his 6th birthday, with no prodding. I was about 6 mos pregnant. #2 is telling me he will quit after he turns six this summer. We shall see. |
| 43 | Twice I've had to actually nurse both kids at the same time. Right now that's hard since my baby daughter is so tiny and still learning to latch on, but I can imagine it might be easier later on. Also, I make sure my toddler nurses on the same side the baby last nursed on to ensure the baby gets enough good milk. [Note: Both children should get good milk no matter what the nursing pattern.] |
| 42 | I would be willing to speak directly to any one. I had an older child at the time of this experience. I have thoughts about managing play and family living patterns for the older child (who would probably be more than a year older than the newborn) to help a mom accomodate to the tandem nursing. |
| 31 | It's not easy, but it's worth it. |
| 36 | I never thought I would do tandem nursing. but I did, and I think it helped with my son accepting his baby sister. It was a good experience overall for all of us. |
| 33 | More AP sites should display help with tandem nursing positions. When they want to nurse together it can be very ...... interesting. |
| 29 | I tandem nursed for about 20 months. I weaned them cold turkey just before the oldest's 3rd birthday, because I was just too tired-both nursed at night still and slept with me. |
| 27 | The time we have to nurse our children and share this unique bond with them is so fleeting really.... I think it is important to let the child decide when the benefits of nursing are no longer there for him/her... it is not just a physical nourishment they receive but emotional as well. I think it is wonderful to not force our first babies to wean just because a 2nd is on the way. Let them reap all the benefits they can as well for as long as they want. Soon enough they will wean and you will only the precious memories of these times you shared nursing. |
| 24 | My husband's support has been critical to our success, and my mother's and mother-in-law's acceptance and interest has been a bonus. Also, it's really wild to realize that there are no experts to consult about tandem nursing, and it's hard to find many outside opinions that are constructive -- tandem nursing is teaching me how to base parenting choices on internal family factors more than external inputs. |
| 23 | When I first started breastfeeding, I had the idea that I would feed my baby until he was 9 months old (no reason, it just seemed like the 'right' age). Then it was so enjoyable for both of us - and my husband has always been so supportive of it too - that I decided to just keep going and see where we ended up. And that's how we'll continue, just playing it by ear. You can't tell in advance how you'll feel about things you've never experienced, so to try and predict when and how you'll wean is very difficult - not least cos they's another person involved too! |
| 22 | I have a 4yr old, 3yr old, 2yr old, 10mo old, and a baby due in August. I nursed my first until she was two and she tandem nursed with her brother for 11 mos. He continued nursing until he was 18 mos. The next child recently stopped nursing at two and she tandem nursed with her baby sister for about 8 mos. I am pregnant with my fifth child and am still actively nursing - on demand - the 10 mo old. I am quite certain that she will tandem nurse with the next baby. |
| 21 | I am concerned about what I've read regarding weaning, and that tandem nurslings often wean together - I can't imagine losing this bond with both of them at once. |
| 20 | My children [that tandem nursed] are now 12 and 11. My baby is 3 and a half and still nursing. I am an OBGYN nurse and just got my IBCLC this year. |
| 4 | I think my decision to not tandem again is more based upon age difference than the nursing. I have gotten pregnant twice when I had a toddler in the house and the toddler lost a little bit of momma quite early. My youngest is now 16 months and I want to fully enjoy the next year, giving her my full attention, before I begin thinking about another baby. I know this isn't supposed to matter, but the time I breastfed through my pregnancy, the baby was born weighing over a pound less than the previous 2 babies. She was still 8 lb 1 oz, but my first 2 were over 9 pounds. |
| 8 | My 1st child was a very 'sucky' baby and nursed a lot, even at 2 years he would still ask to nurse every 2 hours or so. Whereas my 2nd is quite content to nurse every 3-4 hours, even had a 5 hour gap at 3 months old. The contrast is mind-boggling to me, and even now, my older child would nurse more than the baby if I nursed him every time he asked. My oldest child almost weaned himself towards the end of my pregnancy. When the milk matured after baby was born, I asked him if he wanted to nurse. He attached for about 2 seconds and then said "too big". I sat there thinking 'I nurse you through pregnancy, so that you can help me out in times like this when my breasts are hard, and you say "TOO BIG"?!'. I actually thought he had weaned and had a good cry over it, but then the next day he went back to nursing as normal. |
| 9 | Just that it was something that fell into place, it wasn't a big ordeal, and we didn't really plan it. It just flowed with our life ( no pun intended!) like everything else. People who I actually told that I nursed them both at the same time, or during the same time, would give me this look of either, why on earth would you do that, or like I was doing something really special. But like I said above, it really wasn't that difficult. It just became a part of our lives for that time. |
| 10 | People always ask me about the logistics of nursing two. My sons are currently 21 months and 3 years old. From the very start I often nursed them both at the same time. (After all, I do have two breasts.) When the younger one was very small, I would get him latched on in the football hold with a pillow underneath him for support, then help my toddler climb up into a modified "football" hold on the other side, with his feet towards the back of the couch. If you can position the tinier baby first, the toddler will learn to climb up into position and latch on. I learned to nurse lying down on my back when the younger one was about 9 months old - I wish I had figured it out sooner. If both boys lay on their sides facing me with their heads laying on my arms or in the crook of my arm, or my younger son lies on top of me facing away from the older one who is at my side, I can lie flat on my back and even fall asleep while nursing both. I find this position indispensable at bedtime and when they both wake to nurse at night. Now that they are older, when one asks to nurse during the day I sit on the couch and invite the other to nurse too. If I can nurse them both at the same time, it takes half the time it would take to nurse them separately. Another thing I want to mention is that I assigned breasts almost from the start, and it has been very helpful. Also I only nurse on one breast per feeding (per child). This prevents them from wanting to switch back and forth over and over. Originally I assigned breasts to try and prevent the spread of thrush, which didn't work. But I liked it so much we have continued it. They now know whose breast is whose, and even though I sometimes nurse them on the opposite side (depending on which breast is fuller, if I'm nursing only one) they usually stick to it. At night the sides are reversed based on our sleeping positions. I think my older child especially finds it reassuring to be reminded that he can have ALL the milk in HIS side. Both of them seem to take great satisfaction in knowing which breast is "theirs." |
| 11 | I never nurse them at the same time. I can't take the stimulation from both of them. I know a lot of moms nurse both at the same time, but I think I've done so two or three times in the past year. It's just too much. They each have their own side - which has left me very lopsided on one side, by at least 2 cup sizes. |
| 12 | I think many of the challenges associated with tandem nursing stem from the stresses of mothering two or more very young children. There is so little cultural support for tandem nursing. Mothers who find themselves in this special relationship can end up feeling very isolated. The support I've received from my local LLL group and toddler group have been invaluable in helping me stay sane and centered as a mother. |
| 13 | I would just like to say that I don't think tandem nursing is right for everyone - those moms with certain types of high-risk pregnancies should carefully consider any potential risk of nursing during pregnancy. |
| 14 | We've been tandem nursing for all of 6 weeks. For whatever it's worth, my answers to this survey will hopefully be very different in a few months. My baby just turned 6 weeks so I assume (I hope!) that we're still in the throes of the newborn/adjustment period. It's very important to me to continue nursing my older daughter; I'm committed to continue nursing her until she's at least 4 (unless she weans by then, but I really don't see that happening), at that point, if I'm still having miseries over nursing, I plan to discuss weaning with her (she recently curled up to me and very sadly, almost in tears, told me that she never wanted to wean, so I don't know what will happen because I told her she could nurse as long as she wanted). Over all, tandem nursing and a new baby have been much easier than I'd anticipated. I thought it would be hellishly difficult for the first few months. We have had a few difficult days, but even the week when I was very sick (week 5) wasn't quite as bad as I had thought it would be and, after all, I was sick! As I mentioned, I do have some issues to work through. Bed time is "touch and go", some nights it's very easy, but other nights I feel completely torn. I feel that by letting my baby cry, even if in her daddy's arms, I am ignoring her all too clear signal that she wants to nurse with me and I wonder what kind of monster I am for being able to put off answering her cry for even 5 minutes. On the other hand, I feel like a monstrous mother if I don't stay with my older daughter to cuddle and nurse. My baby seems to have discovered the comfort of the breast and for the past few days has basically wanted to be at or by the breast all day. I love this wonderful closeness, but I haven't been able to adapt (yet?) to this new stage in my relationship with my baby and at the same time continue to meet my older daughter's needs/desires. I assume that tandem nursing, like any relationship, is in a constant state of change. Some stages will be very challenging, but my assumption is that most stages will be harmonious and that years from now I'll be able to look back and see that over-all tandem nursing was a positive experience for my nurslings. I can't imagine that prematurely weaning an older child would be better than for older and younger to learn to share the breast. |
| 16 | Oldest child hasn't weaned yet (my daughters are 31 months and 18 months), but I've been doing a lot of distraction and doing other activities to cut down the frequency of nursing. |
| 17 | My older child (20 months) is not weaned yet, but so far we have tandem nursed 3 months and the older child does seem to be slowing down some. Hoping he won't wean at least for another 4 months. |
| 18 | Well... some times I wonder how long it will be before I have my chest back! |
| 19 | I got more discouragement about tandem nursing than I got when I started breastfeeding! Even my OB was discouraging when I first told her I wanted to nurse while I was pregnant! I continued to nurse through my son's pregnancy anyway and eventually found I had a subchorionic hemorrhage (not breastfeeding related), although breastfeeding didn't set off contractions for me. My son was born happy healthy 8 lb 11 oz, (4 oz heavier then his sister) and 21 inches long, induced 5 days early due to his adverse reactions to some on and off contractions, presumably because of the hemorrhage which had resolved at the beginning of the third trimester. We have also been through a stubborn thrush infection in which my tot wasn't affected. |
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Page last modified:
10/10/2005
Written: 08/29/2001