Breastfeeding Limericks

July 28, 2011. Posted in: Blog Posts,Humor & Wisdom

Image credit: TimothyJ on flickr

I’ve had a request to move on to Breastfeeding Limericks, or perhaps we should call them Lactation Limericks (I like the alliteration :) )?

Here’s some information on how to write a limerick. Needless to say (right?), we’re going for the humorous variety and NOT the mean-spirited or pornographic.

Here are a couple of examples from A Well-Versed Mom:

The Lament of the Postpartum Executive

The Benefits of Breastfeeding (limerick at the end)

These limericks were posted to the KellyMom Facebook wall today. Please add your own in the comments at the bottom of this page!

My babies? They all liked the boob.
To my chest they were constantly glued.
They would nestle the mug in,
Take a sniff and then plug in,
Mom’s too lazy for food in a tube.
—Belinda Mendoza Franke

A twist like you’d see in the movies,
a young lady who hated her boobies,
a huge change of heart,
now they’re her fave part,
since she used them for feeding her newbies!
—Laura Griffin

There was a young baby from Bude,
Who drank milk from his mummy’s boob.
They once went to London,
his tummy was rumblin’,
So he had a wee snack on the tube!
—Amanda Moomin McCabe

One morning a new mom said, “Hey,
My breasts are much bigger today!
Despite the IV,
That’s colostrum I see,
So we’re going to nurse anyway!”
—Tova Ovits

My mommy’s boobies are best.
I cuddle them when I rest.
A wholesome snack,
From that comfortable rack,
Made me ace my intelligence test!
—Marya Kozik LaRoche

I’m growing a babe in my tummy
Who can’t wait to eat what’s most yummy
I’ll give him the best
Milk straight from the breast
And then he won’t be no dummy!
—Jessica Shaham

You should check out www.oedilf.com – they’re writing a dictionary in limerick form! I wrote one for “breastfed” which got read on BBC Radio 4:

We ought to feed Junior the best, Fred.
The goods are right here on my chest, Fred.
Don’t do things by halves;
Cows’ milk is for calves!
He’s best fed the best, Fred, he’s breastfed!
—Donnelle Belanger-Taylor

Through nursing I’d smile and I’d pout
Two done, one is still at the spout
He drinks and he munches
From dinners to lunches
Hope I don’t get the door with “them” out.
—Amy Skinner Cummings

There once was a baby who liked to eat,
His love for milky could never be beat,
He nursed night and day,
But the fat rolls gave that away,
It is shocking he can even see his feet.
—Shannon McGuire

There once was a girl named Lulu,
Who would nurse on side one then side two.
She would start on the right,
Then proceed quite all night,
‘Til her mom felt she may as well moo.
—Galen Duffy

They were once two boys that loved boob
A big toddler and a wee newb
When the breasts would appear
A loud squeal you would hear
Of joy for their favorite food.
—Emily Glass

There once was a babe from the Midwest
who was born to be fed at the breast
Whether by day or by night
her most favorite sight
was of dear mama’s bare chest
—Jorie Martin Roubitchek

There once was a mama who knew it all.
Would wean baby at one, it was the right call.
But then Baby turned one,
and sure wasn’t done,
and with full term nursing in love they would fall.
–Yaro Trujillo

There was once a pro-breastfeeding dad,
Whom formula really made mad.
“Health benefits!” said he,
“And besides, can’t you see?
My wife’s boobs would make any man glad!”
—Anonymous

There once was a mama named Keek,
Who always went out looking chic.
She wore black while about town,
Which was good when she letdown,
And found that “the girls” sprung a leak!
—Anonymous

I have 4 kids named Sadie, Maggie, Sam and Jake.
And my breast they all did love to take.
When my nursing days are over,
My breasts will meet hubby under the cover,
And I know my heart will ache.
—Stacey Hodgeman

Donnelle July 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm

You should check out http://www.oedilf.com – they’re writing a dictionary in limerick form! I wrote one for “breastfed” which got read on BBC Radio 4.We ought to feed Junior the best, Fred.The goods are right here on my chest, Fred.Don’t do things by halves;Cows’ milk is for calves!He’s best fed the best, Fred, he’s breastfed!–Donnelle Belanger-Taylor

TovaO July 29, 2011 at 12:13 am

One morning a new mom said, “Hey,

My breasts are much bigger today!

Despite the IV,

That’s colostrum I see,

So we’re going to nurse anyway!”

TovaO July 28, 2011 at 8:13 pm

One morning a new mom said, “Hey,

My breasts are much bigger today!

Despite the IV,

That’s colostrum I see,

So we’re going to nurse anyway!”

Theprincessmommy July 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Laura Griffin’s is my FAVORITE!  Love it!  And Donnelle Belanger-Taylor’s is just too much fun to repeat! 

Theprincessmommy July 29, 2011 at 9:21 am

Laura Griffin’s is my FAVORITE!  Love it!  And Donnelle Belanger-Taylor’s is just too much fun to repeat! 

Katrickey May 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

There once was a newbie mummy

Who’s boob was her babies dummy

She said “no one I knew

Did what I do

But my milk is just more yummy.”

Sarah S. September 13, 2012 at 10:14 am

Doc said, “Your newb’s weight gain is slow.
Try formula, your supply must be low.”

But Mom’s breastmilk kept flowing,And boy, was he growing!

90th percentile at month four.

Starfire February 26, 2013 at 10:48 am

There was a tiny baby called Max
Who at first just could not get a latch
Though we both cried and cried
Exclusive breastfeeding we tried
And now he’s still nursing and fat!

Melissa August 13, 2013 at 11:13 pm

There once was a wee lad named Zack,
Nummys were his favorite snack,
He liked mommy’s breast best,
Liked the feel of others I guess,
When his tummy rumbled he just might attack.

maria November 28, 2013 at 2:00 am

Two babies had nursies to drink
But it wasn’t enough, which did stink
An SNS and some pills
Solved all of these ills
And the time passed by in a blink