You Asked. They Answered. TIME’s AP moms take your questions. (Question 12)

Part 12:  You Asked. They Answered. TIME’s AP moms take your questions.

12. How does your partner participate in attachment parenting your child(ren)?

© / Benjamin Loo

Jessica ____________________
What started us off with a great foundation was that my husband was able to use all his vacation and sick days at once when our daughter was born. He was home with us for the first month of her life. This was an unbelievable help and not one we expected to have. He’d planned to take two weeks off, but O (our daughter) came a bit early and his schedule was already cleared, so it worked out. This set us both up to be caregiver to O. Feeding was my job. Nurturing me was his job. But so was cuddling, bouncing, diaper changing, and nighttime snuggles with our daughter. It gave us confidence that we could both respond to her needs. And seemed to give our daughter confidence to be soothed by both of us.

We talk about what we’re doing, what’s not working, and how we can respond to her needs and each others. We’re not perfect and we have our ugly moments, but we are learning. That’s the most important thing for me to remember – we are all learning. Not just our daughter, but we are too. We’re learning how to respect one another; how to talk to one another in kindness even we don’t feel very kind.

Jamie ____________________
My husband is just as close to our boys as I am. He participates in every part of parenting aside from breastfeeding, but he made up for that with a lot of cuddling. I did/do the breastfeeding and he does the roughhousing. Otherwise, our parenting styles are identical.

Image credit: Mothering Touch on flickr

Some examples:

  • Cooking with the kids
  • Devotionals
  • Taking the kids to the park/museums/aquariums etc.
  • Play games
  • When he is home from work he will participate as a teacher during homeschooling
  • Bathing
  • Dressing
  • Cuddling
  • Feeding
  • Taking the kids to martial arts class
  • Bedtime Stories
  • Just loving them and being present

Above barely scrapes the surface of how my husband is an equal and happy participant in attachment parenting.

Melinda ____________________
My partner is my rock and my #1 support. I can’t do what I do without him. Our parenting style has really made us stronger as a couple and as parents.

Dionna ____________________
My husband is a wonderful partner. His role has changed through the years depending on my needs and the needs of our children. He’s done everything from all of the nighttime diaper changes, to doing the bulk of the housework when I feel overwhelmed and cannot help, to bouncing babies to sleep, to helping the preschooler navigate a changing world.

My partner is as much of an attachment parent as I am, it just looks a little different.


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