Expressions for women on high-stress days

August 4, 2011. Posted in: Humor & Wisdom

  • You – Off my planet.
  • Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • And your crybaby whiny opinion would be…?
  • I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
  • Allow me to introduce my selves.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • I’m just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
  • I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren’t asleep.
  • I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.
  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
  • You say I’m a witch like it’s a bad thing.
  • Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.
  • Earth is full. Go home.
  • Is it time for your medication or mine?
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Note: If no author is given, then the author is unknown. A lot of these writings have been circulating around via email for years. If you are the author of this piece, please e-mail me, and I will (according to your wishes) either give you written credit for your writing, or remove it from this website.

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