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excerpted
with permission from:
Good
Nights - The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed
(and a Peaceful Night's Sleep!)
by
Jay Gordon, M.D. and Maria Goodavage
Griffin
Trade Paperback
ISBN: 0312275188
|
excerpt from Chapter Four --
The Sandman Cometh: Sound Solutions for a Satisfying Sleep
In this chapter we will bring you answers to questions we've been
asked by family bed parents about ways to get a better night's sleep.
If you have a nighttime woe from the family bed, you'll probably
find a solution to it here.
Q: In three months we're expecting our second child,
and our two-year-old son is still in bed with us. I don't think
he's ready to move into his own bed yet, and I really don't mind
if he stays. But I don't know how we can make it work with two kids
and two parents. What should we do?
A: Your son may not care to move out of bed yet, but his
own bed may start looking mighty appealing to him when the new baby
takes up residency in your bed. In fact, a top reason children leave
the family bed is because of the arrival of a new sibling there.
As Angie, a mother of a three year old and a newborn, told us, "Our
son put up with the decreased space, the baby noises, and my waking
for night feedings for two nights. On the third night, he asked
if he could sleep in his own bed, and that was that."
If you think your son will opt to stay on, you may want to consider
creating more space by having him move to his own twin bed pushed
right up flush beside yours. If you can get it at the same level,
it's more like an extension of your own bed, and he may well enjoy
the extra space of this "big boy" bed. The big benefit is safety,
since you don't want to be like a tin of sardines when the baby
arrives.
Another option for your bed setup is to place mattresses or futons
on the floor, side by side. (As we mentioned earlier, if you're
going to do this, make sure the floors are as free of dust as possible
so allergies don't become and issue.) A few families we've interviewed
have had a room filled with wall-to-wall mattresses for them and
their two or three (or in one, case, four) children. These parents
have warm and fuzzy memories of waking up in the morning with little
limbs and faces everywhere. "I wouldn't trade those times for anything
in the world," says one such den mother.
Whatever setup you choose, it's important that your infant doesn't
sleep beside your older child. Sleeping children don't always have
the same awareness of their surroundings as adults and can pose
a hazard to a baby.
A final note: We advise any parent who will be changing the bed
setup because of a new baby to make any changes at least a few months
before the baby's arrival. That way the child doesn't see the baby
as displacing him.
Q: Any ideas on how I can have a little time to myself
while my baby naps? Right now she's as a point where she wakes up
when I put her down for a nap, and I'm getting frustrated.
A: This question doesn't have the nice, neat sleep-stage
answer the previous one did because naps are a different animal
from nighttime sleep, and vary greatly. But there are a couple of
tips we can give you.
If your baby takes two naps a day, your best bet for being able
to leave her sleeping happily on her own is the afternoon nap. REM
sleep (the active, lighter sleep stage) often predominates in morning
naps, according to sleep expert Dr. Anders, and NREM sleep (deeper
sleep, harder-to-wake baby) in afternoons. Wait until you see the
signs of deep sleep mentioned in the previous answer, and then make
your getaway after you're sure she's in a safe place. See "Naptime
Notes," page, 66, for more on safety for babies sleeping alone.
We also highly recommend "wearing" your baby in a sling or other
kind of baby carrier during her naps. She'll likely sleep very well
nestled beside your moving body, and you can get lots done while
she sleeps. Granted, you won't be solo, and you won't be able to
clean the oven or scrub the tub (darn!), but at least your hands
and legs will be free.
Another possible solution for you is a baby swing. Some parents
swear by baby swings, other swear at them, thinking of them as just
another mechanical substitute for mom. In the same vein, some babies
love swings, while others would swear at them if they could. We
say if you need some time alone, and your baby is happy in the swing,
let her take little naps in it.
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Page last modified:
03/03/2005
Added to website: 11/05/02
