| Preschoolers require more finesse
to gain their cooperation, because they have not yet reached
the age at which they can see and understand the whole picture.
Robert Scotellaro is quoted in The Funny Side of Parenthood
as saying, “Reasoning with a two-year-old is about as
productive as changing seats on the Titanic.” (He must
have had a two-year-old at the time.)
You can get around this frustrating state of affairs by changing
your approach. Let’s look at two situations –
first the typical (Titanic) way:
Parent: David! Time to change your diaper.
David: No! (As he runs off)
Parent: Come on honey. It’s time to leave,
I need to change you.
David: (Giggles and hides behind sofa)
Parent: David, this isn’t funny. It’s
getting late. Come here.
David: (Doesn’t hear a word. Sits down to
do a puzzle.)
Parent: Come here! (Gets up and approaches David)
David: (Giggles and runs)
Parent: (Picking up David) Now lie here. Stop squirming!
Lie still. Will you stop this! (As parent turns to pick
up a new diaper, a little bare bottom is running away)
I’m sure you’ve all been there. By the way, David
is my son. Like you, I got very tired of this. And then I
discovered a better way:
Parent: (Picking up diaper and holding it like a
puppet, making it talk in a silly, squeaky voice) Hi David!
I’m Dilly Diaper! Come here and play with me!
David: (Running over to Diaper) Hi Dilly!
Parent as Diaper: You’re such a nice boy.
Will you give me a kiss?
David: Yes. (Gives diaper a kiss)
Parent as Diaper: How ‘bout a nice hug?
David: (Giggles and hugs Diaper)
Parent as Diaper: Lie right here next to me. Right
here. Yup. Can I go on you? Oh yes?! Goody goody goody!
(The diaper chats with David while he’s being changed.
Then it says, Oh, David! Listen, I hear your shoes calling
you – David! David!
The most amazing thing about this trick is that it works
over and over and over and over. You’ll keep thinking,
“He’s not honestly going to fall for this again?”
But he will! Probably the nicest by-product of this method
is that it gets you in a good mood and you have a little fun
time with your child.
When you’ve got a toddler this technique is a pure
lifesaver. When my son David was little I used this all the
time. (I now use it with my youngest child, Coleton, who just
turned two!) Remembering back to one day, when David was almost
three, we were waiting in a long line at the grocery store
and I was making my hand talk to him. He was hugging my hand
and looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I love for you
to pretend this hand is talking.”
Another day, after I had called David to the table for dinner
a number of times, he calmly looked up at me, chubby hands
on padded hips and said, “Mommy, why don’t you
have my dinner call to me?”
And suddenly, the peas on his plate came to life and called
out to David; he ran over to join us at the dinner table.
A variation on this technique, that also works very well,
is to capitalize on a young child’s vivid imagination
as a way to thwart negative emotions. Pretend to find a trail
of caterpillars on the way to the store, hop to the car like
a bunny, or pretend a carrot gives you magic powers as you
eat it.
It’s delightful to see how a potentially negative situation
can be turned into a fun experience by changing a child’s
focus to fantasy.
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