Humor & Wisdom - KellyMom.com https://kellymom.com/category/fun/wisdom/ Breastfeeding and Parenting Wed, 02 Aug 2023 16:59:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.6 https://kellymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/kellymom_badge128-65x65.jpg Humor & Wisdom - KellyMom.com https://kellymom.com/category/fun/wisdom/ 32 32 A Father Reveals Things He Has Learned From His Children https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/father/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=father Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:55:13 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3042 There is no such thing as childproofing your house.

A four-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh" it's already too late.

Play dough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

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]]> A Message From A Busy One Year Old https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/one-year-old/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=one-year-old Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:50:20 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3036 Please expect me to be busy. That is my developmental job. Please remember that I don't need to do things well, I just need to do them. I like it when you tell me what I am doing, not how well or how poorly I am doing it. If you keep telling me that I do things well, that I am smart or cute or brave or spunky, I get mixed up and I think I have to act those special ways to please you. When you tell me what I am doing, when you say, "Andrew is climbing on the sofa," I feel loved for being who I am and the age I am.

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]]> A substitute for natural pregnancy… https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/youterus/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=youterus Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:44:13 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=2974 A substitute for natural pregnancy has been developed by Breed Bronson, Inc., makers of Infantill formula and other baby products. The YOUterus/Plus-centa unit was introduced in pharmacies and discount stores nationwide today.

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]]> All I Need to Know About Life I Learned By Breastfeeding https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/bf-life-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=bf-life-2 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 18:00:27 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3048 Mammals make great mothers.

Parenting is a 24 hour job.

Good things come in all sizes.

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]]> Announcing the new Toddler Miracle Diet! https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/toddlerdiet/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=toddlerdiet Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:44:06 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3027 Over the years you may have noticed that most 2 year olds are trim. It came to me one day over a cup of grapefruit juice and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason.

After consultation with pediatricians, x-ray technicians and distraught mothers, I was able to formulate this new diet. It is inexpensive and offers great variety and sufficient quantity. ENJOY!!

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]]> Breastfeeding Haiku https://kellymom.com/blog-post/breastfeeding-haiku/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=breastfeeding-haiku https://kellymom.com/blog-post/breastfeeding-haiku/#comments Wed, 27 Jul 2011 23:14:22 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=1774 Here is some basic information on Haiku poetry: How to Write a Haiku Poem: Haiku Examples and Tips. These poems were posted to the KellyMom Facebook wall. Sweet, milky giggles Baby’s trusting eyes look up Forging bonds that last. —Rachael Hamilton Surrendering to the moment of your hunger; sweet child at my breast. —Elizabeth Howard […]

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]]> https://kellymom.com/blog-post/breastfeeding-haiku/feed/ 57 Breastfeeding Limericks https://kellymom.com/blog-post/breastfeeding-limericks/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=breastfeeding-limericks https://kellymom.com/blog-post/breastfeeding-limericks/#comments Thu, 28 Jul 2011 23:31:27 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=2117 I’ve had a request to move on to Breastfeeding Limericks, or perhaps we should call them Lactation Limericks (I like the alliteration :) )?

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]]> https://kellymom.com/blog-post/breastfeeding-limericks/feed/ 10 Elephant Recipe https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/elephant/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=elephant Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:39:58 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3021 Dice elephant into small pieces. This should take about 2 months. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Season to taste. Cook over fire for 4 weeks. This will serve 3,800 people. If more are expected, add 2 rabbits, but only if necessary. Most people do not like to find a hare in their stew.

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]]> Evolution of a Mom https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/evolution/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=evolution Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:27:01 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3003 Yes, parenthood changes everything.
But parenthood also changes with each baby.

Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

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]]> Expressions for women on high-stress days https://kellymom.com/fun/wisdom/high-stress/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=high-stress Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:36:22 +0000 http://kellymom.com/?p=3015 You - Off my planet.
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you

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