You Asked. They Answered. TIME’s AP moms take your questions. (Question 7)

Part 7:  You Asked. They Answered. TIME’s AP moms take your questions.

7. Why do you think so many women think this article is calling them a bad mom?

Jamie tandem nursing her sons. Used with permission.

Jessica ____________________
The title sets it up for sure. It draws moms in and has them already be on guard for what they’re about to read. I’m not sure that the article itself is making moms feel “bad” about their choices. I think it sets up AP moms to look crazy and clingy. Are moms really reading the article and saying “I want to be like this frazzled mom!” that the author opens the story with?

Jamie ____________________
I think that a lot of the “Mommy Wars” go back to the fact that almost every single parent wants the very best for their child. Children are such a gift and people really want to care for their children the best they can. When you choose a different way to parent some mothers become defensive and see it as a personal attack against their choices. No one wants to feel they did something detrimental to their child, so they are going to defend their choice. Also, there are some judgmental moms who do try to push their parenting styles on everyone. That isn’t right and creates a rift between parents, especially mothers.

I hope we can get to a point where we encourage all parents to make an educated healthy choice for their children. That does not mean all the choices will be the same. Families are different and children are different. There is not one-size-fits all in parenting.

Melinda ____________________
No one can call you a bad mom but yourself, but we all do it. Even I feel like a bad mom when I don’t reach the expectations I set for myself. No matter how the article was written or portrayed, some mothers will have pangs of regret for things they wish they did differently.

Dionna ____________________
It seems like mothers can get blamed for everything, doesn’t it? Baby not gaining weight fast enough? Must be your milk/method of feeding/something you ate. Preschooler acting out? You must not be spending enough time connecting with him/disciplining him/teaching him manners. Et cetera, et cetera. So of course when the title asks if you’re mom “enough,” the connotation is that you’re not if you’re not doing X, Y, and Z.

Do I believe that? No.


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