Website and Commenting Guidelines

KellyMom supports breastfeeding and gentle, empathic parenting practices, and we enjoy getting people together to discuss these things. The KellyMom community includes both this website and our social media outlets (Facebook page and groups, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, etc.). These guidelines are for the entire KellyMom community.

IF YOU HAVE BREASTFEEDING OR PARENTING QUESTIONS, please browse the articles in our main website. Keep in mind that online information is NOT a substitute for an in-person evaluation by a qualified, independent International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC).

Please note:

• Breastfeeding is the main focus of KellyMom, but not the only focus– many factors (birth, parenting practices, etc.) can affect the breastfeeding relationship.

• Resources (articles, videos, studies, etc.) posted on the blog relate to breastfeeding and/or parenting.  The posting of outside articles on the website (or Facebook, Twitter, etc.) should not be interpreted as an endorsement of the position taken in the article. I am posting to inform.

• Comments or content posted by users come from the persons posting the comments and do NOT necessarily reflect the views of KellyMom. KellyMom is in no way responsible or liable for anything posted by others.

• A note about research studies:  We frequently post information here on scientific research regarding infant feeding and parenting. Research is a process – there is rarely a final definitive answer, and we incorporate new information into our understanding of an issue as it emerges.

  A scientific study is not a judgment on you – each study is simply a search for another piece of the puzzle. Research studies do not predict anything at all about any particular baby or babies – they look at trends in a large population.  If your personal experience was not the same as the trend in a study, it does not mean that the research is invalid.  Also, keep in mind that statements like “less likely” or “less severe” are not the same as “does not happen at all.” For example, when we look at large groups of babies, the babies who were breastfed have more positive health outcomes, however breastfeeding is NOT a guarantee of good health. About the only thing we can likely say about a particular breastfed baby is that their health is likely better than if s/he had received less breastmilk.

• Information is provided for educational purposes only.  Online information is NOT a substitute for an in-person evaluation by a qualified, independent International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) or your health care provider. All material on this website is provided for educational purposes only, although every effort is made to provide accurate and up-to-date information. Unless otherwise noted, the articles at this website are not written by doctors or other health care professionals. If you are concerned about your health, or that of your child, consult with your health care provider regarding the advisability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your individual situation.

• Read more: About this Website

 

Commenting Guidelines

• Stating your opinion, whether it is “for” or “against” is not an issue. Please feel free to do this, as long as your comment is respectful of opposing viewpoints. Please remember that KellyMom does not have any control over who posts comments or whether the majority of people posting comments have different opinions than your own.

• Keep it Kind. This community is dedicated to supporting parents, not debating parenting decisions. We believe that sharing your observations and opinions about a subject is appropriate in a topical discussion. You can do this in a way that is civil and promotes the overall feeling of safety, comfort, and support we value at KellyMom.

• You are communicating with REAL people. We encourage you to remember that this type of communication strips all nuance from a message because the reader is not privy to your tone of voice or body language. Misunderstandings can easily happen when we are working with just the written word and no other social cues (especially in an international community such as ours). Please be especially mindful of this while commenting and reading. It’s easy for readers to infuse a message with a sentiment that wasn’t there on the part of the writer because each post is an emotional blank slate in many ways.

  When communicating with our computers it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that you are interacting with REAL people (who have real feelings) . It can be really easy to relax our hold on civil conversation in the heat of the moment and hard to make up for it afterward. So, try to be kind, polite, and calm even when disagreeing! Keep those real people in mind each time you post.

• It is NOT OK to attack other commenters. Strong opinions and lively exchanges are possible with topics related to parenting. Insults, ‘flaming’, name calling, disrespect and attacks are not appropriate and will not be tolerated within our community. If you choose to use the term ‘Breastfeeding Nazi’ (or similar phrases) in a comment, be aware that there is a 99% chance your comment will be removed. All personal attacks will be deleted, even if you preface them by saying “this is not meant to offend anyone” (it DOES), or “I support breastfeeding, but….”

• KellyMom supports ALL parents. How long to breastfeed is a decision that will vary due to many factors, and we support parents here whose children wean both before and long after the first 12 months.

  Some parent/infant dyads have issues that prevent meeting their breastfeeding goals (or current recommendations on breastfeeding duration), and we support them in providing the best nutrition available for their child (which may well include infant formula). Comments like “infant formula is poison/nasty/etc.” will be deleted–the use of infant formula is sometimes necessary, and it remains the best choice when human milk is not available. Do not comment on another parent’s reasons for giving their child formula – you have not walked in their shoes, and it is not your place to decide whether they “tried hard enough.”

  Finally, we also support parents who nurse long past infancy here– breastfeeding past infancy is normal and beneficial to both mother and child, and we absolutely support breastfeeding until the CHILD is ready to wean (whether that’s at 2 or 7!). The American Academy of Pediatrics notes in their breastfeeding policy statement that “Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer” (AAP 2005. More here).

• Please keep your comments specific to the posted article. Off-topic comments may be considered a derail of the conversation and as such are subject to deletion.

• DEBATE will not be hosted. Do not engage another commenter and begin an exchange. We’ve chosen not to host debate because we do moderate the spaces within KellyMom.com and hosting debate is too energy intensive. There are other places where debate is possible and we encourage all members/fans to find those places in addition to commenting here if the comment policy here is too restrictive for you.

• Do not use KellyMom.com comment areas to comment about other organizations (for example, “Organization A won’t seem to post my comment on their site.”) Comments like this will be removed.

• You do not need to agree with the commenting guidelines shared here. You do need to respect them. Comments to the effect of “If you didn’t want X to happen then you shouldn’t post that article.” or “I don’t agree with how you are managing comment threads.” will result in the commenter’s ability to post comments here being blocked.

• Keep Your Comments Clean. There may be places where vulgar, explicit or obscene language, behavior or graphics are appropriate. KellyMom is not one of those places. My kids read this, and yours might, too!

Thank you for your help in making this a supportive place to exchange information!