You Asked. They Answered. TIME’s AP moms take your questions. (Question 8)

Part 8:  You Asked. They Answered. TIME’s AP moms take your questions.

8. What advice do any of you have for moms who feel caught up in the “Mommy Wars”?

Image credit: ODHD on flickr

Jessica ____________________
To me, “Mommy Wars” is kind of like Valentine’s Day: a made-up “event” that guilts us into doing, buying, and believing in things we don’t need or want. We’ve got to understand that magazines and publishers want their stories and books to sell. That’s their job – to create controversy and excitement to increase interest in their product. They’re not out to support women in their role as mother. We’ve got to do that for each other. I know it sometimes feels hard to stop comparing ourselves to other moms. But, I think it starts there.

Jamie ____________________
Don’t take the bait. Find moms that are encouraging you to make the best choice for your family. That does not mean they will all be parenting the same way as you, but they will respect what you are doing. I personally have more friends that parent “conventionally” but they love and respect our family and choices.

Melinda ____________________
Follow your heart and find what works for you. Everyone should parent the way that they feel comfortable and confident. Take the philosophies that resonate with you and leave the rest:)

Dionna ____________________
It seems like much of the “mommy wars” come into play around values or practices that many of us feel passionately about. While I am an advocate for certain things, I try to remember to be compassionate – not judgmental.
It helps me to remember that no two families are alike. What works for one family is not going to work in the same way for another family. We’re all coming to this parenting gig with different resources, different experiences. The bottom line is, we all love our kids and are trying to do what’s best for them.
In a post I wrote about compassionate advocacy, I said:

“Please think before you speak online:
Will your message add value to the conversation?
Are your words meant to help, or hurt?
If your message were the only exposure someone had to your advocacy efforts, what would they take away?”


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